Self Growth Part 6: Bounce back from a bad result

A rejection, a bad mark or a failed interview hurts. The week after is when you can turn it into something useful.

Let it hurt, for a bit

Ishaan made it to the final round at the company he wanted most, and didn't get the offer. Pretending you don't care won't help. Give yourself a day or two to be upset, and talk to someone you trust. Then move on to the next step.

Review it like a coach

Write three lines:

1. What happened, just the facts.
2. What was in your control, and what wasn't.
3. One thing you'll do differently.

Ishaan's review: the interviewer spent most of the round on system design, which he'd skipped while preparing. That was in his control. The company took only two people from forty finalists. That wasn't.

Separate the result from yourself

"I failed this interview" is different from "I'm a failure". The first is a fact you can learn from. The second is a story that stops you trying again.

Talk to yourself like a friend would

If a friend failed an interview, you wouldn't call them useless. Speak to yourself the same way. In one set of experiments, students who were encouraged to be kind to themselves after failing a test went on to study longer for the next one. Being kind to yourself made them more willing to put in the work.

Make the next attempt better

Turn your one thing into a plan. Ishaan spent two weeks on system design basics, did three mock interviews with seniors, and got an offer from another company a month later.

When it's more than a bad week

If low mood, poor sleep or losing interest in things you usually enjoy lasts most days for more than two weeks, talk to someone: a friend, your family, your college counsellor, or Tele-MANAS, the government's free mental health helpline, on 14416. It's open day and night. If you ever think about hurting yourself, don't wait: call 14416 now, or 112 in an emergency.

Try it

Think of a recent result that went badly. Write the three-line review: what happened, what was in your control, and one thing you'll do differently. Then put that one thing into your plan for this week (Part 3).

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That's the Self Growth series. Start with one tiny habit from Part 1 this week, and build the rest on top of it.