Leadership Part 3: Give feedback that helps

Feedback helps when it's specific, about what someone did rather than who they are, and given soon. A simple shape makes it easier to say and easier to hear.

Why vague feedback fails

"Good job" and "You need to be more professional" don't tell anyone what to repeat or what to change. The person either feels good for a minute or feels attacked, and nothing improves.

Situation, behaviour, impact

1. Situation: when and where it happened.
2. Behaviour: what they did. Something a camera could have recorded, not a label like "rude" or "lazy".
3. Impact: what it led to.

Then suggest a next step, or ask for one.

Arjun pitched the hackathon to a sponsor on a call. Vague feedback would be "You were rude to the sponsor." Meera's version:

In yesterday's sponsor call, you interrupted their marketing head twice while she was explaining the budget. After that she went quiet and didn't commit to anything. On the next call, can we let her finish first, then pitch?

It works for praise too:

In today's meeting, you summed up the three options in a minute. It helped everyone decide quickly. Could you do that at the start of our meetings?

It's called SBI, a model from the Center for Creative Leadership.

Giving it well

• Soon, while it's fresh. A week later it feels like a grudge.
• Criticism in private. Praise can be public.
• One or two points at a time, not ten.
• Skip the sandwich (praise, then criticism, then praise). People learn to wait for the "but" and stop believing the praise.

Taking it well

• Listen to the end before you explain.
• If it's vague, ask for an example: "Can you tell me when I did that?"
• Say thank you, then decide what to change. You don't have to agree with all of it.
• Ask for it often: "What's one thing I could do better in these meetings?"

Try it

Write one piece of praise using situation, behaviour and impact, for something a classmate or colleague did well this week. Send it today.

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Next: Leadership Part 4: Delegate without hovering